Have you ever felt that older people didn't understand your problems or younger people have no sense of what's really important! That's because these people have a different experience of life. As a result, one's point of view is misunderstood by others; it seems improper to point out the drawback or to touch the raw nerve, yet it is not possible to wish such thing away by simply ignoring them. Suddenly there is a wave of one’s suppressed feelings, resulting in a troubled relationship. It’s due to the generation gap that generally refers to the difference in values, beliefs and norms of the older and younger generations. Hence the so-called generation gap is, in fact, the communication gap.
When two people communicate there is a dialogue between the two minds hence the feelings and ideas are transferred to the other person through an expression. The smoother the flow of the expression is, the convenient is the understanding level. But the moment one feels that their ideas are neither listened to nor understood; it results in the irritation in the behavior.
In this particular regard culture plays a vital role, it is depicted from how and what we talk, what we eat, what we wear, how parents raise their children, what we listen and watch, hence meaning is being shared and cultures are being constructed and maintained through communication. Culture limits as well as liberates us; it differentiates as well as unites us. It defines our realities and thereby shapes the ways we think, feel and act. Culture is something that is learned with time.
In addition to the generation gap, culture gap is important to consider. Cultural gap has a blended meaning. It refers to the difference in values, beliefs and norms of the old and young people within a society. The particular problem may not generalize to all cultures. However the idea of the problems that existed between parents and children generalizes to all cultures and all societies. The younger generations are significantly less tolerant of the behaviors than are the older generations. This is not culture this is just an out come of the generation gap.
People of the earlier generation refuse to change their mindsets. If youngsters are suffering of the dilemma that their elders don’t understand them, then naturally, there is a strain on adults too i.e. the increasing difficulty that they may experience with the expectations and behavior of their children. Let’s see a scenario where there is a joint family of minimum three generations, the grandparents, the parents and the younger generation. So just imagine what are the pressures that parents face from their elders (parents) and from younger members (children) of the family? These parents may experience being sandwiched between their parents and their children. They have to follow the old cultural traditions to make their parents happy and also have to accept the new generational demands of their children in order to balance the situation. Hence there are cultural conflicts and the generation gap, twice over.
At the same time our elders are under the constant pressure of the usual socio-economical problems. Hence they are stressed out and look for a better living. Consequently, sometimes they just are too frustrated to understand the requirements of the younger generation. Such multigenerational family structure particularly in our society, allows families to come together to face many trials of life, such as raising a child, caring for elders, single parenthood, and high cost of living and housing. On the part of the parents, they are upset because they experience unusual behavior of their children and on the other hand the children are irritated if they are unable to convince their parents. Usually it’s the ego that comes in the picture and acts as a major barrier to understand someone else’s point of view.
Children don’t get up to a certain level to understand their parents and parents don’t compromise to realize their children’s point of view. A time comes in a child’s life, particularly during adolescence, at this juncture the boy or the girl goes back into his or her loneliness and the parents feel “ignored”. This is the time when the elders should plan ways and means for bridging the communication gap, instead of finding escape into their own orbit.
Once the unfriendliness of the atmosphere melts, words trickle down freely in the form of a dialogue and no doubt or dislike takes any disturbing shape. The moment there is some sort of vibration in the stillness of relationship; harmony begins, out of chaos.
Over the time many changes may occur in a society and both the older and the younger have to make changes to adapt to these changes in society. However, the young are more flexible towards making a change. Today, the generation gap has not disappeared, but it is gradually shrinking in many families. The result can be a rewarding closeness among family members. There's still a lot of strict, authoritarian parenting out there, but there is a change happening.
In the middle of that change, there is a lot of confusion among parents. Family researchers offer a variety of reasons for these evolving roles and attitudes. It's not a total easy victory for parents these days, because life is more complicated, but sharing interests does make it more fun to be a parent now. We're swinging toward a balance, where parents once again are viewed as parents, and not as peers to their children.
Children are being viewed as very loved and valued family members, but without the power or authority of the parents. If we can get this balance, where parents are not afraid to be parents and parents and children put the family as their priority, we'll be in great shape. Many parents today are more youthful in appearance, attitudes; parent effectiveness training has helped to reshape generational roles. The philosophy encourages children to describe their feelings about various situations. Many parents started making decisions based on what their child wanted. The power shifted to children. Parents of the current generation also encourage children's independence, making them more responsible for themselves. Some parents worry that if they tell their child ‘No’, or impose limits, it will hurt the child's self-esteem. Overindulgence, can actually be a sign of neglect and neglecting values, neglecting teaching opportunities, and neglecting the relationship. Some parents trying to cultivate friendship with their children even at very early ages.
If the level of understanding is less, the generation gap is immense. In order to make someone understand your point of view, you have to understand their view point. And if this cycle is accelerated the vehicle will run smoothly, otherwise it will take some jerks and sooner of later will cease.Our older generation must accept the changing life style and the families, who overcome this dilemma, are the best communicators. There is a stream of understanding between generations. Hence the flexible attitude towards others makes us a better human being. However, one should neither eliminate the generation gap nor allow it to become too wide. If the generation gap becomes too wide, it will cause too much conflict between the generations. If the generation gap is completely eliminated, then the young will not be motivated to change their society, and they may not be able to adapt to the other societies in the world.
Generation gap leads to a healthy disagreement between the generations and motivates the young to change society. That keeps the society growing and developing.
The family that climbs together is indeed a healthy family …
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